My version of success

Fog on the lake, early morning.

Smoke face

I stopped paddling for a while, focusing on the shivers I felt when the sun touched my skin and on the sounds all around me: the chipmunks fighting, the reeling from the two fishermen’s pole in their belly boats at the other end of the lake. A muskrat dove in the water when he heard me approach. The water was so clear I could see all the way to the bottom of the lake… Dead trees looked like sunken boats.

 I looked at the water dripping from the paddle, making a perfect line of decreasing little circles and I thought: this is it. This is as good at it gets. The girls are at that perfect age where they are independent enough to do their things all day sometimes and still excited to wash laundry in a canoe barrel and come on a hike with us… At 37, my body doesn’t hurt anywhere, I feel strong… but soon, soon, the balance will tip… and the body will  starts to show its age, and the girls will become teenagers, and this life might not be what they want…

Stop. Deep breath. We never know what the future might hold.

I could see the bus from the lake and the kids playing in the field beside it on the teeter totter they had made. And I took a mental note of all of this, because right there, in that moment, it felt oh so perfect. My idea of an accomplished life. My version of success.

A frosty morning

When I woke up and stepped on the bus floor, I knew we had reached a new level of cold. It had been a very cold night and looking out the window, we understood why! We knew the frost wouldn't stay for long, so we dressed up very warmly and went outside to admire Jack Frost' s masterpiece!

Laundry

David even digged a little channel to direct the water!

Laudromats are a big expense when you live on the road with 3 active kids. We spend between $18 to $24/week on laundry, so I am trying to find alternative ways to wash our clothes.

This was a pretty fun one that we all enjoyed immensely! It was pretty physical too! I had to go down to the lake at least 15 times to bring up water and we had to roll the barrel (the kids made up games for this one (barrel relay race!), stump on the clothes with our feet while they are in the barrel, empty the barrel 4-5 times to rinse the clothes properly and then wring everything and hang it. Oh, and then, half the clothes weren't dry by nightfall, so I had to bring them in to re-hang them the next day...

Was it worth $20? Not sure, but it was pretty amazing to see our kids all work together at this. Cooperation at its best. Let's see if they think it's as fun next week...

Lodgepole Lake Rec Area

Beautiful early Sunday morning light on the lake.

Perfecting his one-handed wood chopping skills

I felt just like Java when we set foot in this beautiful place! Freedom!!

I felt just like Java when we set foot in this beautiful place! Freedom!!

As we pulled into Lodgepole Lake Recreation Site and realized we scored again by finding an amazing free place to camp by a beautiful lake (water is a big asset when dry camping) in a gorgeous location with crazy good cell signal, we jumped off the bus and went straight for the lake, smiling and excited! Freedom!! Nature!! Peace!

A few days ago, as I sat in the little patch of overgrown grass beside the Walmart parking lot, between old crumpled Tim Horton’s paper cups and BigMac wrappers, Java rolled on his back, four paws in the air, blissful. I looked at him and said: I get it, buddy… I miss nature too…

Yesterday, I watched him run all over the place in the empty campground and pounce on swaying grass, and I felt just like him inside! I belong here. I *need* nature to be well. I need a bonfire under the stars and a completely silent dark night to feel rested. And I need to feel rested to feel like myself. So, cheers to another beautiful place to spend the week!

*We have discovered the BC Rec Sites (official Website) as great camping options. Some are free or much cheaper than provincial parks (PP) ($12). The sites have fire pits, picnic tables and are often much less busy than PP. The stay limit is 14 days in a month.

My Survival Kit

It's been a week of cold rain, of noisy parking lot nights, of disapointing news (no CT Scan for JF until the fracture is fully healed, no way to know what is going on in his shoulder for a while...), of waiting for packages to come (that no address deal gets tiring...), only to find out it didn't get there or is missing a part... First world problems. I know. But the type of week that makes me question everything, that makes me long for a bit more space, a daily warm shower... oh, and a dinner prepared by my mom while we're at it!

At the cusp of 40, I know myself enough to not dig too deep in those moments, to wait for the sun to come back (yes, litterally and figuratively), for the next camping spot in the woods where I will be able to be outside more and more active, for the inner storm to quiet down.

I find myself craving more alone time lately, which, as an extraverted with a tendency towards depression has often been a worrying sign in the past, but not now. I am good now. I just need nature, music, good books and a pen and notebook with me at all time. It's my survival kit in times of turmoil.

For those of you who want to know more about our homeschooling journey or for those who used to follow me at Catherine et les fées, I have reactivated the blog and published 4 posts there this week. If you want to receive all the updates, either sign up in the right hand bar on that blog to receive an e-mail or Like Catherine et les fées on Facebook

Last days at Boer Mountain

Fall is well on its way here. During the time we stayed at the campground, we really saw nature going from summer to fall. The colors are amazing now!

This place is one of the most amazing camping spots we have ever been to. Boer Mountain has left us many unforgettable memories... and a few scars.  Seriously, what are the chances to find world class bike trails out your door, a beautiful lake to paddle on, a free peaceful campground (and free firewood!) five minutes from a friendly town with everything you need? 
Boer Mountain, we will be back.

There's always tomorrow

It was a rough day for all and tempers flared. Dishsoap disaster on the bus floor. Cold shower that stopped working for 5 minutes when I had shampoo in my eyes. Sitting on a cluster of blue grapes... on the couch. Burnt apple sauce. Board game cupboard content that fell on JF while he drove. Too many misunderstandings. Yelling. Tears.

There's always tomorrow.

Bike, eat, sleep... rinse and repeat (and a bit of kayaking too)!

The kids spent many hours carving spoons around the fire. They have to burn the center to make it hollow.

The biking crew!

Muddy trails!

The Northern Aqua Ninja, a very rare specie!

With 10 bikes to take care of and all the riding that happens around here, there is almost always someone working on a bike...

The girls taught our new friend Lee and his girlfriend how to cook bannock over the fire

Oh the beautiful sky! We have been hoping to see Northern Lights, but no luck so far!

Living so close to nature, I cannot help but notice every little change in the environment around me. How the light changes throughout the day depending on the weather. How the beaver spends his day going back and forth across the lake, collecting timber for his hut. How the mama duck swims around the lilypad patch with her 6 ducklings... Even the unicyclist with his bear bells (yes, on a mountain bike unicycle... He goes down When Pigs Fly and Charlotte's Web on it!!) that rides by our campsite every night at the same time, like a swiss watch. 

There is something quite comforting in that sameness, that predictability.

When Jennifer and I went for a kayak outing at sunset, we stopped paddling for a moment once we reached the other side of the lake and listened in silence. The sun warmed our faces and we smiled at each others. Both of us strangers in that self-contained world. 

This moment

" We humans come into this world - as Aristophanes so beautifully explained - feeling as though we have been sawed in half, desperate to find somebody who will recognize us and repair us (or re-pair us). Desire is the severed umbilicus that is always with us, always bleeding and wanting and longing for flawless union. Forgiveness is the nurse who knows that such immaculate mergers are impossible, but that maybe we can live on together anyhow if we are polite and kind and careful not to spill too much blood.

There are moments when I can almost
see the space that separates Felipe from me - and that always will separate us - despite my lifelong yearning to be rendered whole by somebody else's love, despite all my efforts over the years to find someone who would be perfect for me and who, in turn, would allow me to become some sort fo perfected being. Instead, our dissimilarities and our faults hover between us always, like a shadowy wave. But sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of Intimacy herself, balancing right there on that very wave of difference - actually standing there right between us - acutally standing a chance. "
                                                                                                                 -Elizabeth Gilbert,
Committed

 

When Pigs Fly

How many bikes and persons can you fit in a Westy? For this ride, 8 bikes and 10 persons!

Hail!!!!

The trail network at Boer Mountain is pretty amazing! One of the most popular ride is called When Pigs Fly. And yes, that's the trail on which JF broke his arm (only because he was going too fast into a jump). You can see it here on YouTube. It's a very flowy trail with big berms and lots of jumps. The first time I did it, it really kicked my butt and I walked most of the berms. My sweet friend Jennifer waited for me, gave me tips and encouraged me to keep trying.

There is another short fun black diamond trail that the kids love called Smells like Bacon (seriously! Bike trails and climbing routes have the best names!). All the trails have been named with a pig theme in mind (Slaughter House, Charlotte's Web, Soooeet, Curly Tail, etc.). 

Every Wednesday, local youth from the bike club come and do some trail work in exchange for a shuttle up at the end of the night! The club is very active and organize an awesome bike fest (The Big Pig) around mid-August every year.

And someone sure had fun finding names for the age categories:

1. Cutlet - 12 and under

2. Junior Tender - 13-15

3. Senior Tender - 16-18

4. Lean - 19-34

5.Gristle - 35-49

6.Freezer Burn -50+

On rain and mist

To be honest, I don't love the rain. But I love smelling the humidity in the air, seeing the mist rise on the lake and feeling the dew-wet grass on my skin when I pick berries on the trail. I love feeling the water drip on my face from the front of my helmet when I ride in the rain... I love how raindrops form perfect little circles on the lake that grow bigger until they disappear, and how they cling to my daughters' hair like shiny beads. I love how everything is quiet after a rainstorm and how the sky opens up to let the sun in sometimes. How beautiful that light is through the dripping tree branches... 

The Reunion

Supervising our dear friend while he fixes the coolant hoses

Sewing, of course!

Java now has two families... and two homes!

The kids spent many hours building forts

Even doing the dishes is fun with your best friend!

Remember when we said goodbye to our beloved traveling friends last April in Moab? Well, we were supposed to meet in Southern BC, but with all the events from last week, this amazing family came all the way up to be with us and give us a hand! How awesome is that?
We are so happy to be back together and it feels like we never were apart. Having these wonderful kids in my bus feels so natural... There are so many adventures ahead of us! I am excited beyond words!

Oh the people you meet!

Java's not too sure about JF's new hairdo....

Love this girl and her awsome attitude. Her tattoo: Be Yourself Fearlessly. She is the embodiement of it!

Even cooler, the bottom part is the mountain range behind Canmore!

We did a few shuttles up and rode together most of the day

Happy hour in the parking lot!

This guy's van is nothing short of amazing! He did the whole conversion himself. Under the bed, he has sliding trays for his bikes (notice the wet suit hanging inside the door, surfboard and paddle board on top? Fully equiped!

And, he is a bike mechanic, so he took a look at my bike derailler. His motto: lubrication is a wonderful thing!!

We met Madeleine the night before. She had just driven 14 hours down the Cassiar (she was in Carcross, in the Yukon, biking, two days earlier!). We hit it off right away and told her to come by for coffee and a shuttle up the mountain the next morning. She currently lives off her little car. She ice climbs, paraglides, heliskis and rides hard! She is a fiery, spunky girl that sucks the marrow out of life. She radiates joy and fun! I hope my girls become their own version of Madeleine one day!

When we came back from our ride, a man she had met in Carcross a few days ago was there with his awesome Sprinter van. It was an empty shell that he customized. It is GORGEOUS (think modern, lime green bamboo laminate, dark grey and chocolate brown accents with stainless steel... and lots of gear!), with great music playing at all times of day. He is 53 and has been living off his van for 2 years already. He spent the summer hiking, biking and paddling in Alaska (and fly fishing from his paddle board!). So inspiring! I hope more people would have that kind of guts!

Then, the next day, we met Mike, a young Austrian guy, who has been traveling for 6 months on his super heavy 7 inch suspension freeride bike (the antithesis of a cyclo-tourism bike...) pulling a trailer, covering usually over 100 km a day (and sometimes 160 km!). He had already climbed up the mountain (that we usually shuttle!) twice that day and ridden back down. The guy is a machine! He's having the time of his life!

What do these people have in common? They feel so alive and happy! They traded the traditional life and the security that comes with it for freedom and adventures. They are high on life!

 

A perfect evening under the full moon

We have had a pretty intense week, but it's also been a pretty amazing one! I have felt closer to my girls than I had in a long time and this alone, felt pretty wonderful. On Friday, I was litterally bursting with gratefulness for the life I live. After a rainy morning, the sun surprised us and came out in full force. Mara, Mathilde and I went for one of our favorite ride (Aisha has pain in one knee and she should only ride the mostly flat trail around the lake for a few days... which we call the Java trail since it's his daily ride...). I feel more confident by the day even if I have more bruises than I can count. JF calls me his little dalmatian...!  

When we came back, I made one of my famous frappé in the Vitamix to curb the effort migraine I felt coming (Three Sisters Kicking Horse coffee frozen in ice cubes - espresso shots from our machine - with half and half and a little bit of maple syrup!) and went back for a lake side ride with Aisha and Java. We stopped on our favorite campsite on the other side of the lake (accessible only by feet or bike) on a peninsula and watch the sun come down on the lake together. When we came back, I made delicious lemon garlic thyme cream pasta and opened a cold bottle of local Riesling. We ate in the setting sun.

The girls and I then grabbed the lambskins and our sleeping bags and went to the dock to watch the moon rise. When the sun came down, bats came flying around us on the lake. A beaver swam nearby. Suddenly, we saw it: the beautiful bright moon coming up between the trees. Then, Mathilde spotted the first star. Soon enough, we could see Orion and Cassiopea (my favorite constellation!) and even a few shooting stars. It was very sweet to hear Aisha say: I don't know what to wish for... I really have all that I could want! And Mathilde say: I wish I could have my very own moon that would follow me around all the time... That girl! One day, she will make a man work hard...! 

We layed down a long time in the dark silence of the night. An owl hooted in the distance... I said I wouldn't leave until I heard the loon... At around 10, we heard it. I looked at my daughters' faces, illuminated by the moonlight, smiled a fully contented smile and took a deep breath to remember this moment forever. Now, we could go to bed.

Day 4: Making the best of it

Nature's laundromat

Nature's bathtub

Dishwashing with lake water.

Can you see the dragonfly right by her hand? There are tons of them around here. Which is good because it means less mosquitoes!

Having a big red bus, a cool Westfalia and a funny puppy comes in handy sometimes. Especially when you are parked right where lots of bikers start their rides. The people we rode with on the weekend come back here almost every day, so when JF told the guy that works at the part store about having to drive 80 km to get our Westy part, he said he could have it shipped right here in Burns Lake for $10!  One less thing to worry about! 

It was a very hot day (by Yukon standards!) and we decided to enjoy the lake while the sun was high in the sky. We jumped in  the cold lake and let the sun warm up our skin lying down on the dock while rainbow trouts jumped all around us!

Later, the twins and I went for a longish ride. They convinced me to try the 4 Cross course (I did it!) and I rode most of a black diamond trail with them (except the wooden features, drops and wall rides!). I was pretty proud of myself! It was so cute to see the girls cheering for me all along! Mara stayed behind me the whole ride and gave me tips and corrected my positions!

At some point on the trail, Aisha (who was yelling and singing non-stop... to the point of having a sore throat after an hour...) stopped and bursted into tears. She had contained her fear of meeting a bear, but felt overwhelmed by it now... (she woke up with terrible bear nightmares the night before... poor girl...). We sat and talked for a while and she decided she wanted to keep on riding. So we did! What a brave girl I have! 

We were so hot after our ride that we went straight to the lake and jumped with our clothes on!! It was such a special moment to swim in that beautiful quiet lake with my big girls, all three of us high on endorphins and pride! As I came out the lake, one of the girl found a HUGE leech on the back of my tank top. We all freaked out and undressed right there, checking each other out, giggling and screaming! For some reason, this whole adventure almost felt like a rite of passage. My girls teaching me mountain bike skills, Aisha and I both facing our fears, Mara holding us in her peaceful energy the whole time. I felt so honored to be there with these two wonderful young girls. I think we all felt it. 

When we sat beside the fire by the lake that night, Aisha wrapped her arms around me and held me tight, a big grin on her beautiful face. We didn't need any words. 

Day 3: Rolling with the punches

Who's taking this whining little guy out at night now?!  Three times last night!!!! Arrghhh!

Tacos and a good Grasshopper beer make everything a bit better...

There they go again...

Warming up the shivering puppy...

Westy mechanic 101. Since papa can't do it with one arm, the girls are learning!

When we woke up, the (usually great) Internet connexion was down... We laughed it off with a triple shot latte (at least there was sun to provide some electricity to run the coffee machine!). Let me recap the last week for you: first my computer stopped working a few days before we left the Yukon when JF installed Windows 10 (he spent A LOT of time trying to fix it, online, on the phone, in store, without any luck, so we only have one computer between the two of us, which is a problem, because we often have to work at the same time...). Then, in the middle of the Cassiar Highway (in the middle of nowhere, where there was no cell connexion for a few hundreds of miles), a part of the tow system broke, leaving us to drive the two buses separately. When we climbed the hill leading to Kager Lake on Boer Mountain, JF smelled coolant and discovered a hose had just popped... After a few tests, he found out that there was no moving the bus from its location until that was fixed. 

Then, he broke his arm and on that same night, we thought the Westy's engine was fried. So we were stuck 5 km up on a dirt road, with no running vehicles (the area where we are parked looks like a garage yard right now with the front of the bus open and parts everywhere...), we are practically out of fresh water. The girls haven't showered in over a week. JF needs meds from the pharmacy in town for pain and to prevent infection in his many road rashes. We need to go get the part to fix the bus tomorrow 80 km away.

I might be an eternal optimist, but I still see our luck in the bad lucks. The part on the Westy is under warrantee, and we should receive it in a few weeks. We were VERY lucky JF saw the Westy moving to the side in his rearview miror, because we could have easily lost it in the ditch... Or we could have broken down completely and not be able to move from where it happened. We have met a local guy that works at the parts store in town while biking this weekend and he was able to help us. The Westy's engine seems fine. We needed to replace the coolant tank (that completely split in two) and the alternator belt. 

And most importantly, JF is alive, not disfigured, and his fracture should heal fast. We have a lake nearby to get some water (and clean ourselves if we are brave enough!) and we still have food for at least a few days. JF called the towing to bring the Westy to a local mecanic he rode with on Sunday. We have amazing trails right off our door and the girls and I will take advantage of that. Oh! But life doesn't give us much rest! The gilrs and I surprised a bear that was eating thimbleberries. Poor Aisha was in front and got very scared... We talked to him, but we could still hear him in the bushes, so we turned around... I sure am glad it happened when we were only 10 minutes from the bus! A half an hour earlier, I had asked Aisha to stop singing loudly, because she was driving me batty... I told her to just make noise every 2-3 minutes... The problem is, in 2-3 minutes on a bike, you cover a lot of ground... On our after dinner ride, I told them they could sing non-stop the whole ride... Trust me, the bears did not stand a chance!!

Boer Mountain, DAY 2: The shit hits the fan...

A dock... water... Déjà vu... RUN for your life!!!

I love Monday mornings at campgrounds. The place is empty after a buzzing weekend. Here, at Boer Mountain, the campsites are right by Kager Lake, so we went to sit on the dock in the morning sun and watched our new friends fish as we chatted. It was a gorgeous day and we were already making plans for the trails we wanted to ride. Since the people we had met were leaving in the afternoon, the girls and JF arranged for one last shuttle up the mountain with them.

I had done the shuttle the day before and knew that by the time I drove back down, the riders were usually back down too. But their pickup had been down here for a while and there was still no sign of them. I watched the clock, trying to convince myself that they probably had decided to try a different trail. I tried to quiet down the voice that was telling me that something was wrong. 

I was working on a translation contract when I heard Mathilde starting to give a guy the spiel about the Westy and the bus (the girls are getting pretty good at answering questions on our rig!) and came out to help her with some details. That's when I saw JF approach, all bloodied face and scratched, his woolen shirts ripped and with a weird look in his eyes. When he peeled off his glasses and I saw the gush on his nose, my legs almost went from under me (I would have been a very bad nurse...). Turns out he had caught a jump too fast and went flying and crashed face first on When Pigs Fly (just thought it was funny... I can now call him my little flying piglet...!). A minute after the crash, a friend found him sitting by his bike, dizzy. He helped him change his tube, assessed the damage and they slowly rode back down. We were on concussion watch for a while. I tried to convince him to have his painful shoulder checked at the hospital, but he said it felt OK (I knew he was still on adrenaline... and I also know that JF is always OK...). I sure am glad he had his full face helmet and protections when it happened (he doesn't usually wear them...). 

By 6 pm, he was looking worst and we decided to go to the ER. Sure enough, he had broken his humerus! The doctor said the tendon pulled so hard on the bone that it ripped the bone! The good news is that in a situation like that, one of two things happen: either the rotator cuff tears or the bone breaks. And a break is a much better option. Since they can't put a cast on a shoulder, he has to wear a stabiliser sling (absolutely no movement for 2 and a half weeks). Then, if he is painfree, he can slowly get moving. If not,  he will need to have an ultrasound done to assess the damage (if any) to the ligaments and tendons. 

After the verdict fell, we all piled back into the Westy and drove back up to the bus. When I turned off the engine, we heard a weird noise coming from the back. We jumped off and saw it: the white smoke! "Let's hope it's not the head gasket!",  we both exclaimed at the same time, incredulous... Really?! How many bad lucks can you have in a week??

JF turned around, leaving the Westy behind in the dark, and said: "I need a beer!"

Mountain biking at Boer Mountain, in Burns Lake, British Columbia, DAY 1

Inviting...

Under the proud paternal look...

That's a skinny skinny!!

Boer Mountain Bike Park is the first of its kind as the park is the only mountain bike park to be build on Crown land in Canada. There are miles of classic singletrack offering riders a sequence of cross-country, freeride and downhill trails, as well as a skills park, jump park and Rider Cross track. This park was also designed by Whislter park designers and the best part is it is free to use. There are about 15 campsites with picnic tables and firepit, as well as a huge parking area for bigger rig (all for free, 14 days max for camping).

We were lucky enough to meet some of the locals that were part of the project since the beginning and helped designed the trails (thanks to our friendly puppy!). We chatted for a few hours and JF and the girls went riding with them the next day. Since the Carcross episod, I felt very unsure about my biking skills. My confidence was at its lowest low and I declined a few more challenging downhill rides with these skilled bikers.

After reading the trail descriptions on the map, I asked JF and the girls if they'd come try some cross-country trails with me. I tried to focus on the skills the girls had me practice on the pump track in the morning. My thighs burned from the effort and the constant standing up. The sharp turns were challenging and I walked the wooden boardwalks behind the girls, feeling like a big wuss... I took a deep breath and tried to channel a friend (who is so at peace with where she is at in terms of skills, even when riding with experienced people) who often says when she walks parts of the trail: I don't make one with the bike yet! And I smiled, clearly not feeling at one with the bike... At other moments, I heard another friend whispering into my ear: Trust the bike! And I did... for a few hundred meters... until, a jump threw me off balance.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I heard my friend who just last week told me: You are brave. And I felt it. I was being brave. I was back on the horse!

As I looked at JF watching the girls with pride in his eyes, I decided turn that same gaze towards myself. I was proud of myself. Proud to be there, riding berms and managing sharper turns than before, my heart pounding, feeling the flow of the trail. And my confidence increased. Thanks for riding with me today, friends!

But that, my friends, was only Day 1... Things got a little more... action packed on Day 2... Stay tuned! Spoiler alert: don't look on Facebook!